So I am a craptastic blogger.  It's been, what...a month and a half?

I suppose I have a good excuse, though.  In addition to feeling like crap for MONTHS on end, my Crohn's finally got the best of me.  I went into the hospital on December 15th, with a blood pressure of 69/44 and a heartrate of 144 bpm resting.  I got there and requested that all my specialists see me (my admitting was hematology; I also have a GI dr, and a cardiologist).  Good thing, too...because my body was going haywire.  My INR (how quickly/slowly my blood clots - normal is between 2-3) was nuts.  I was admitted with a low INR (clot risk), and in two days it had jumped to 7.9 (RIDICULOUS bleed out risk).  I had a colonscopy and an endoscopy on Saturday morning, which confirmed my Crohn's has now spread throughout my entire digestive system.  Yes, that's right.  Mouth to anus - all diseased.  Fun, huh?  Apparently, the inflammation in my body was so severe that it was also causing heart issues.  My cardiologist had initially diagnosed me with cardiomyopathy - a weak heart.  He put me on three meds to strengthen it, which subsequently dropped my blood pressure.  Once I started the Crohn's meds, though the inflammation improved, and so did my heart.  So, that's good news, I suppose.

It was very scary and very eye-opening.  I was, more or less, slowly dying over the last few months/weeks and my body was beginning its shut down.  My GI has told me that I was, essentially, an anorexic/bulimic and there is no telling right now what other organs were damaged in my quest to try to buck this disease through naps and heating pads.  (Surprise!  That doesn't work!)

In light of all of this, I have come into a new perspective and new focus.  My health is the one health the Lord has given me.  I have one body and one chance at life.  I, physically, at this point anyway, cannot be a working professional, a mother, a wife, and a homemaker.  My GI doctor said "something in your life has to give".  I have been in the hospital 5 times since July 2009 and each time, I have gone right back to work. I have a tendency to feel better and start blowing off appointments (either not scheduling them or making them too far apart) or being lackadasial about my medicine.  I cannot do this.  One of the medicines I am on (Coumadin) keeps me ALIVE, for crying out loud.  Now, this other medicine (Imuran) will require routine blood tests to ensure my white blood cell count is normal.  (Imuran and Prednisone (another med I take) are both immunosuppressants.)  I have used all my time off from my job that I am allowed and it will not renew until August. I have too many appointments, too many tests, etc...I also have to have time to heal and to be allowed days where I can stay home if I don't feel well.  So...I am dropping my hours at work to part-time.  I will not be allowed to keep my current position, but will be become a data entry person in my department.  It is a HUGE paycut.  HUGE, HUGE, HUGE...therefore, I am only planning on this for a few months.  I really do enjoy working in higher education, so I think when I am ready to go back to full-time, I may pursue a university position in admissions or something.

Money is a huge concern for me right now, but I can't let it be.  My health is the number one priority for me right now.  I am no good to anyone if I am laid up in the hospital or in bed at home or worse, dead.  I haven't been a good mom or wife over the last year and a half due to being so ill, so this is about time.

So...what did YOU do during my blog break?  I hope, had a great Christmas!!!